Last All-Time Best List of the Year (or, "Kiss My Rankin/Bass!")

Are you like me, already tired of this year’s crop of TV Christmas Specials? Especially the one’s produced by the Rankin/Bass production company. You know those crappy “let me use the same two drawing cels over and over again” cartoons and the really creepy “blank stare” stop motion animation.

Here’s list of movies that would be perfect watch as you and your dysfunctional family unwind during your holiday vacation

10) A Christmas Story

I think having Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant would be awesome. Watch this one with the younger kids Christmas Eve night, just before bedtime.

9) Uncle Buck

John Candy and Macaulay Culkin at their best. Every kid in the world would have loved to have Uncle Buck in their family. Again for Christmas Eve night. Watch it with your “tweens”.

8) When Harry Met Sally

I can’t not love this movie. Send the kids off to bed, finish filling the stockings, and get together for a snuggle with your honey. The ultimate romantic comedy. All others pale by comparison…

7) The Best Man

Except this one. The reason? Taye Diggs. He so fiiiiine! (Although Nia Long in lingerie just about give me a heart attack!) An alternate snuggle pic. Look out for a great performance by Terrence Howard as ultra-cool Quentin.

6) Clerks II

Master Vaughn once complained that I used too much vulgarity in my writing. I only wish I could write like Kevin Smith. He’s like the Shakespeare of curse words. Check out the DVD for the best cut scene in View Askew history, titled “Sex Nuts and Retard Strong”. Teenagers may like this one, but they certainly won’t like watching it with you. Watch it after dinner once the extended family leaves, while the parentals are cleaning up.

5) An Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder

Yet another Kevin Smith movie. Teresa and I really enjoyed this one. I have two favorite parts: 1) when KS talks about humanizing his deceased father 2) when he talks about his kid catching him and his wife “night swimming”. Perfect to watch when the kids are in the other room.

4) The Big Chill

Ahhhh, Christmas night. The family has gone home, the kids are in their rooms and bed and your and your significant other just chillin’ in bed. This is smart and kinda sexy. Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky.

3) Hustle and Flow

Boxing Day. You’re worn out from all that shopping and the crowds dove you crazy. If you hear another Musak version of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” you’re gonna go postal. This paean to dirty south hip hop will help you channel all that anxiety. Whoop that trick, man!

2) Footloose

Your guilty pleasure. You traded in your copy of the new X-Men DVD for the Special Edition of Footloose. Try as you might you can’t resist Kevin Bacon’s moves. Enjoy this one late at night when everybody else is asleep.

1) Road House

True sign that the Christmas viewing season is over. Spike TV is programming a “24-hour Patrick Swayze-a-thon”. Great for New Years Night high-jinks. Here’s a great drinking game: Take a shot of tequila every time you see

a) a shirtless man

b) a monster truck, or

c) a mullet.

(Bonus fun for those of you who just can’t get enough Kevin Smith over the holidays: listen to his hilarious commentary track on the special edition Road House DVD, with special guest Scott Mosier. Smith and Mosier should do commentary tracks on everybody’s DVD.)

"Which Serenity Character are you?"

Hey folks,

Take an online quiz at this link:

http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/serenity/

to find out which Serenity character you are.

According to the quiz, I am more like.......

WASH!

Yay!

According to the quiz, that because

a) I love toys
b) I am in love in with my significant other
c) I am somewhat... "funny"

"Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve violence?"

The M-I-U Puzzle

Just finished reading Chapter 1 of Gödel, Escher & Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid by D. R. Hofstadter, in which the author presents the following puzzle. The puzzle has been around for a while, so I ask those of you who know the answer to not reveal it in the comments sections. I will reveal the answer when I get to the appropriate section in the book.

The M-I-U Puzzle

It’s a puzzle utilizing only three letters in the alphabet. Starting with the axiom “MI”, can you form the theorem “MU”? You must follow these rules:

1) If you possess a string with “I” as the last letter, you can add a “U”.
Example: From “MI” you can get “MIU”
From “MUIIUII” you can get “MUIIUIIU”
From “MIIU” you can’t get diddly squat using rule 1

2) Suppose you have “Mx” (where “x” represents any string of I’s and U’s). You may add another “x” at the end to create “Mxx”.
Example: From “MIU” you may get “MIUIU”
From “MUM” you may get “MUMUM”
From “MU” you may get “MUU”

3) If the string “III” occurs, you may replace it with a “U”
Example: From “MIIIU” you could make “MUU”
From “MIIII” you could make either “MIU” or “MUI”
From MII you can’t get diddly squat using rule 3.
NOTE!!! You can’t go backwards and turn a “U” into and “III”

4) If the string “UU” occurs, you may drop it.
Example: From “MUUU” you could make “MU”
From “MUUI” you could make either “MI”

Go ahead folks, see if you can turn “MI” into “MU”. Have fun. Don’t cheat.