"Keeper's Runs" (or "My dog has Mud-Butt!")

To be sung to the tune of Delia’s Gone, by Johnny Cash.

Keeper! Oh, Keeper! He’s full of doggy fun.

Maybe that’s why we’re so sad he had a bad case of the runs.

Keeper’s runs, oh my Lord! Keeper’s runs.

When we first got him, we new he had adoption stress,

And folks told us it was normal for him to make a runny mess.

A runny mess, one more time! A runny mess.

It didn’t take long for Keeper to earn a place in our hearts.

That's why we turned blind eye (and nose) to his stinky, smelly farts.

Smelly farts, loaves and fishes! Smelly farts.

But we knew it was really bad when we came through our front door,

and discovered that ol’ Keeper had the runs on our kitchen floor.

Kitchen floor, thank God for tile! Our kitchen floor.

We gave you a bland food diet, and took you to the vet's,

And to alleviate your symptoms we gave you a lot of hugs and pets.

Hugs and pets! One more round of hugs and pets.

Today when we took him walkin’, Keeper went in the neighbor’s yard,

And not only were his farts not stinky, his poop was nice and hard.

Nice and hard, thank the Lord! Nice and hard.

Keeper! Good boy, Keeper. He’s back to having fun.

And he loves it when I sing this song about his old case of the runs.

Keeper’s runs. Diarrhea! Keeper’s runs!