Hello, Keeper here! Thanks for all your emails folks. I can't answer all of them, but here are a couple to start with:
Dear Keeper,
I have been with my girlfriend for about eight months. Over the summer, she became close friends with a male co-worker. They continue to talk all the time, usually through e-mail and instant message. From the messages he leaves and the way he talks to her, I think that he's romantically interested in her. I mentioned it once to her, but she doesn't believe he's after anything more than friendship. She recently invited him to go with her to a big local party. I'll also be at the same bash, but my girlfriend is a bit of a party girl and a flirt, and I'm afraid that after a night of drinking, he'll try to make a move on her. I'm not sure what to do if that happens. Should I conduct myself differently at the party if he's in attendance?
—Concerned Boyfriend
I found the third line of your letter most interesting (i.e., “From the messages he leaves….”). You’ve been reading her emails haven’t you? From this line, and the rest of the email, I surmise that there is little trust left in your relationship, if there was any to begin with in the first place.
Also, if your “girlfriend” accompanies a boy to a party, and it’s not you, you are not her boyfriend! Your conduct at the party is the least of your problems. End the relationship and move on. It’ll be better for the both of ya!
Woof, woof!
Dear Keeper,
Do you have any advice for guys like me in high school who are trying desperately to date a girl. Most of my friends have steady girlfriends and a lot of them already have gone all the way. I haven’t even kissed a girl and I’m fifteen. I’ve asked a few girls out but they’ve turned me down and always seem to go for older guys. Please help!
-Virgin forever
I do have advice for you, but it’s basically a “bad news first” sort of thing, so prepare yourself. The bad news is, chances are you’re going to be a virgin for quite a while. The teen years are tough my friend, and they do plod on, sort of like unjust wars in Middle Eastern countries. But I have some good news of sorts. It’s a two-parter so here goes:
Part 1) Chances are your friends are lying through their teeth about “going all the way”, so you don’t have to feel alone, and
Part 2) There are some things you can do right now that will prepare you to get to that post-virginity state you so desire.
First of all, you can start with some general personal grooming. At fifteen, you are smack dab in the middle of the hormonal throes of puberty, and sometimes a regular schedule of showering, combing your hair, washing your face, using deodorant will do wonders for your complexion (also helps with the B.O.). Developing a good grooming routine now will help you considerably down the road.
Secondly, I don’t know if women can smell desperation like us dogs can, but I’m pretty sure they can recognize when a “nice” guy is just interested in hooking up so that he can get some cred with his friends. The next time you’re chatting someone up, focus on the conversation, rather than getting lucky. May not hook up with the next girl you meet, but maybe you’ll meet a good friend, and it will certainly relive some of that awkward tension that leads to folks getting turned down.
Finally, dude, just be patient. Relax, and enjoy the ride as best you can. The best thing about being 15 and single is that you are free. All relationships, even the best ones, require the participants to commit in ways I’m not sure a 15 year old needs to consider. Just chill out, brother and keep the faith. Before you know it, Ms. Right will appear.
Woof, woof.
Do you have any questions for Keeper? Send your emails to askkeeperthedog@yahoo.com.
Dear Keeper,
I have been with my girlfriend for about eight months. Over the summer, she became close friends with a male co-worker. They continue to talk all the time, usually through e-mail and instant message. From the messages he leaves and the way he talks to her, I think that he's romantically interested in her. I mentioned it once to her, but she doesn't believe he's after anything more than friendship. She recently invited him to go with her to a big local party. I'll also be at the same bash, but my girlfriend is a bit of a party girl and a flirt, and I'm afraid that after a night of drinking, he'll try to make a move on her. I'm not sure what to do if that happens. Should I conduct myself differently at the party if he's in attendance?
—Concerned Boyfriend
I found the third line of your letter most interesting (i.e., “From the messages he leaves….”). You’ve been reading her emails haven’t you? From this line, and the rest of the email, I surmise that there is little trust left in your relationship, if there was any to begin with in the first place.
Also, if your “girlfriend” accompanies a boy to a party, and it’s not you, you are not her boyfriend! Your conduct at the party is the least of your problems. End the relationship and move on. It’ll be better for the both of ya!
Woof, woof!
Dear Keeper,
Do you have any advice for guys like me in high school who are trying desperately to date a girl. Most of my friends have steady girlfriends and a lot of them already have gone all the way. I haven’t even kissed a girl and I’m fifteen. I’ve asked a few girls out but they’ve turned me down and always seem to go for older guys. Please help!
-Virgin forever
I do have advice for you, but it’s basically a “bad news first” sort of thing, so prepare yourself. The bad news is, chances are you’re going to be a virgin for quite a while. The teen years are tough my friend, and they do plod on, sort of like unjust wars in Middle Eastern countries. But I have some good news of sorts. It’s a two-parter so here goes:
Part 1) Chances are your friends are lying through their teeth about “going all the way”, so you don’t have to feel alone, and
Part 2) There are some things you can do right now that will prepare you to get to that post-virginity state you so desire.
First of all, you can start with some general personal grooming. At fifteen, you are smack dab in the middle of the hormonal throes of puberty, and sometimes a regular schedule of showering, combing your hair, washing your face, using deodorant will do wonders for your complexion (also helps with the B.O.). Developing a good grooming routine now will help you considerably down the road.
Secondly, I don’t know if women can smell desperation like us dogs can, but I’m pretty sure they can recognize when a “nice” guy is just interested in hooking up so that he can get some cred with his friends. The next time you’re chatting someone up, focus on the conversation, rather than getting lucky. May not hook up with the next girl you meet, but maybe you’ll meet a good friend, and it will certainly relive some of that awkward tension that leads to folks getting turned down.
Finally, dude, just be patient. Relax, and enjoy the ride as best you can. The best thing about being 15 and single is that you are free. All relationships, even the best ones, require the participants to commit in ways I’m not sure a 15 year old needs to consider. Just chill out, brother and keep the faith. Before you know it, Ms. Right will appear.
Woof, woof.
Do you have any questions for Keeper? Send your emails to askkeeperthedog@yahoo.com.
Willow from Buffy, The Vampire Slayer: Specifically Willow from Season 1. Only, Jenni would be a bit more bossy.
Doogie Howser M.D.: I orginally though he would be more like Simon from Firefly, but Eric, being from Minnesota, just doesn't have that interesting a back story.
Ally McBeal: They are both pretty, skinny and neurotic. Although I think Pricilla's typical day-to-day thoughts would make more interesting TV.
Snyder, the janitor from One Day At A Time. Neither one of them knows how to fix things.
Alex P. Keaton: There was an episode of Family Ties where Alex could identify the currency of change by the sound it made when falling on a hard surface. If he walked with a limp, that would be Craig to a tee!
Sayer from Lost: In his dreams!!!! Actually Grant would be....
Florence Henderson, the mom from Brady Bunch: Not only is there a strong physical resemblence, Holly appears to have the same superpowers all TV mom's have... the ability to solve your problems within 30 minutes (24 minutes not counting commercial breaks).
Paul Sr., from American Chopper: Becase a) Again, strong resemblence, and b) Jeff is the complete opposite of Alex when it comes to fixing things.
Harmony from Buffy: Shhh... listen... do you hear that sound? It's Vicky screaming "What the &#$@!" at the top of her lungs.
Dawn from Buffy: 'Cause... y'know... she's the "new girl". 
