All Time Best: Part II

A couple of days after I wrote my "All Time Best" blog, my friend Jenni emailed me the following response:

I didn't see a listing for best animated martial arts movie (or
best animated movie that didn't know it was about martial arts).

-Jenni, the helpful

Jenni and her husband Eric are good friends of ours, and I love 'em to death. But the thing about Jenni is, her sense of humour is as dry as Melba Toast. So any one with common sense would realize that she was making fun of the way I totally geeked out during that blog. Alas it pretty much common knowledge that I am not blessed with much common sense. Much like all movie, comic book and cartoon geeks I am blessed with an overabundance of hope. I was actually hoping that she was interested in my blog entry, just like how, when I was a little kid, I was hoping that my mother was truly interested in my blow-by-blow re-enactment of Star Wars as I kept her company during laundry time.

Being somewhat older that I was then, therefore marginally wiser, I did ask Jenni if she was serious. She admited to being "3/4 joking and 1/4 serious. Go figure." Go figure indeed...

Well my friends, whether she intended it or not, Jenni inspired this latest edition of "All Time Best". For those of you already wearying of my fanboy ramblings, I invite you to move on to another blog. For those of you who are interested in geek culture, read on o' Hyperborean wanderer!

(PS: Jenni, Love ya lots, but I invite you to kindly bite me! :) )

ALL TIME BEST: Martial Arts Movie, Animated.

Ninja Scrolls by director Yoshiaki Kawajiri.
It gest brownie points just for being one of the few anime movies where Japan isn't destroyed by a giant robot, a giant radioactive lizard or a bunch of creepy psychic kiddies. (FYI: The book Eastern Standard Time: A Guide to Asian influence on American culture from Astro Boy to Zen Buddhism explains the common theme of giant robot/lizard/armageddon in anime as the re-surgence of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki nuclear bomings in Japanse culture. That sort of thing tends to give a society a healthy fear of uncheked technology.)

The plot centers around a ka-tet of three including hapless ronin named Jubei Kibagami, Kagero, the last survivor of a ninja massacre and duplicitous monk named Dakuan. These three are caught in a power struggle between the Japanese government and the 8 Devils of Kimon, a group of assassins with really creepy supernatural powers. (For example, one of the devils, a mutated hunchback, houses a hive of killer bees in his hump. It's a truly creepy image, which I will not reproduce here.) The story takes place in the legendary "warring states" period in Japanese history, a popular setting for other movies such as the Seven Samurai.

Now in North America, we hear animation and we think "kid's movie", right? Anime is a different breed of cat. In Japan, animation is it's own art form covering many different generes. It's covers mature and adult subject manner, and as such I wouldn't recommend this as a family film.

The movie is violent and is sexual, enough to make the watcher somewhat uncomfortable. I for one don't necessarily think it's a bad thing in this case. For one reason, the violent and sexual scenes are not gratuitous, they are integral to the plot, and each scene is present for a reason. The scenes communicate vital character and narrative information. Another reason why I give this film somewhat of a pass is that these scenes are effective in creating unease. In my opinion, splatter films that gratuitously display sex and violence are truly disturbing becase the scenes in those types of movies lack any lasting impact. They make sex and violence mundane. A truly sinister thing indeed.

Ninja Scrolls is on the All Time Best list because of the obvious craft involved in making the film. It's a truly cinematic piece of work. Despite the fantasy element in the subject matter, the characters have pathos, they come across as real. Also it's a visually stunning film, the imagry is arresting. My favourite part is the last action set piece. The final showdown takes place on a ship, which has been set on fire and is quickly sinking. The lighting and effects serve the subtext of the story. Our hero is facing his ultimate enemy, the final devil, in a virtual hell.So thanks for reading. I welcome any comments/challenges to my All Time Best List, which will probably continue to grow. Everybody thank Jenni for inspiring today's class.

Cheers,

AKW

Black Belt Camp

A month so back, Sarah, my wife Teresa's younger sister, came to our apartment for a visit/knitfest. Sarah had recently returned from 4-H camp, and she regaled us with stories about her new friends, the events that took place, the fun she had, the giggle fests, the pranks, and the general fun she had. She talked about the bittersweetness of saying goodbye to her new friends and Teresa and I really appreciated her spending time with us describing her good time. I especially appreciated those stories because in June, I would be attending my sixth Black Belt Camp.

Back in the day, when we were gup (Korean for colour belt) students, the black belts (dan, in Korean) used to tell us magnificent tales about... black belt camp. Actually, they never really told us what happened at camp. What would happen is that one day in the summer you would come across a black belt instructor, like Mr. Francis, Mr. Papp or Mr. Robinson, would be all limping and wincing and looking like they were suffering a world of pain.

Mr. Papp (l) and Mr. Francis (r). Mr. Robinson (below)

So I would ask them: "Yo! What happened to you guys?"

And because I didn't follow protocol they would say: "Don't you mean 'Yo, sir'?"

And I would say: "Yo, sirs! What happened to you guys?"

their response would only consist of three words: "Black Belt Camp."

As if that explained everything.

So I would ask: "What did they do to you at Black Belt Camp?"

And they would reply: "If you stick around long enough, you'll find out..."

Real mysterious, like.

Black Belt Camp. Those three words came to represent one of those unknown stops along the path to black belt. The event was deliberately kept a secret to us gup students, not to discourage us, mind you, but to irritate us. Apparently, our instructors believed that irritating us would build character.

One things our instructors couldn't hide from us was their true feelings about camp. Despite the sore muscles and the sunburns, you ask a black belt about camp and a beatific smile would cross their face. My friend Paul McNally used to describe it as "Christmas in June".

As you rose in rank, and your instructors got to know you a bit better, they would sometimes offer more info about camp. If you believed them it sounded like boot camp in hell. You ever see the movie Full Metal Jacket? We'll that's how those black belts would describe camp. It was every counselor was like R. Lee Emery on crystal meth. And invariably the worst sounding of all counselor was Master John Beam. He was a legend in World Tang Soo Do. He ran the Saturday afternoon calisthenics, informally known as Master Beam's Death March.

The black belts would wax rhapsodic about camp:

Mr. PAPP - Last year had to be the hardest work out. I mean I almost had to sit out after the hundredth knuckle push up.

MR. FRANCIS - Last year was a cake walk! Remember two years back, during the heat wave? How many people passed out on that one? What was Master Beam thinking?

MR. ROBINSON - Remember that one back in '98?

MR. PAPP - Ooooooh! Oh God!

MR. FRANCIS - I had to take therapy to forget that year.

ME - What happened? Tell me! Tell me!

MR. ROBINSON - That was the year that Master Beam was in a... *gasp*....bad mood...

MR. FRANCIS and MR. PAPP solemnly nod their heads.

Finally in 2001, I got to go to Black Belt Camp.

Camp occurs over three days and two nights, usually during the first weekend in June. Only black belts and black belt candidates (or, cho dan bo) were eligible to attend. In Region 8, Camp is mandatory for those testing for the next dan level. In our school, you had to have a reeeeeally good reason for missing out on camp.

2001 was a good year for my first camp. There were a lot of firsts and lasts that year. It was the first camp where kids 18 and under were not present. World Tang Soo Do had grown so big that they now had to separate kids and adult camp. It was the first year that they ran the "Gong Show" on Saturday evening. This began a Vaughn's Dojang tradition that each year, Vaughn's cho dan bo's had to perform in the show to represent the dojang (studio). It was the first year that Grandmaster Shin introduced Ki Gong to his black belts. Ki Gong is a healing art, in the same vein as Tai Chi Chuan. Ki Gong practice required the practitioner to perform a series of "dance-like" rhythmic moves. The purpose of these moves were to harmonize the ki energy in the body, but initally they all made us giggle. As a result, our class of cho dan bo's decided to parody these moves as part of our "Gong Show" routine. We would throw in a bunch of exaggerated, and outdated hip-hop moves like "The Carlton". All in good natured fun. I thing the best part was when my friend, colleague and fellow cho dan bo Marv, sang the World Tang Soo Do Anthem in Korean. I guess it sounds a bit lame when I describe it, but it was truly a gutbuster. Marv, is actually Dr. Marvin Unger, a well respected chemical engineer that does prestigious work on innovative remediation technologies with the US Government. Here's a picture of Marv and his oldest son, Eric. As you can see, Marv is also a fiftyish, balding, ex-hippie and genuine New Yorker. So if you every want to hear the Korean version of our anthem sung wildly off key in a heavy Brooklyn accent, Marv's your man!

As I said it was a year of lasts too. It was the last year that Master Beam supervised the Saturday afternoon exercises. Master Beam was a hard man and he lived quite an adventurous life. He had mastered many martial arts including Tang Soo Do and Ki Gong, and it was rumored that he had knowledge of Ninjitsu. His Ki Gong training helped him as he started to develop the conditions associated with Parkinson's disease. I don't know much about his past, but I personally was present when he cleanly broke a board balanced precariously on a students head with a spinning wheel kick. Mind you, this is a man with Parkinson's disease, who at that time needed a cane to walk.

By the way, he still mercilessly worked our butts into the ground that Saturday.

It was then that I discovered the secret to black belt camp. I discovered the link between the aches and pains and the beatific, happy smiles. It's not a real mystery. Sometimes it's presented as a mystery, because that's part of the tradition, the protocol, but the key is really simple.

At camp you work out the hardest you have ever worked out in your entire life. You commit to it all. The pushups. The situps. The drills. The kicks. The hand techniques. The blood. The sweat and sometimes the tears. You choose to commit. You choose to participate and you participate fully with all your heart. That's it. That's the big secret.

During the work outs you sometimes find your self getting to the bottom of your cup. You get to that point where you think to yourself: This is it! This is all that I have! But somehow, you continue. You look to your left and to your right, you look in front and behind and you see all the people that you love, the people you traveled with you along the path who were just too stubborn to give up. That's all a black belt is, really, a person just too stubborn to give in, to quit, even if they reach their limit. These folks, your friend and fellow warriors, they know you so well that they see when you are getting to the quitting point. So they share words of encouragement to keep you going: Attaboy! Keep it up! Don't give up, I'm with you!

Those words are just enough to keep you going, past the point of no return. You do it because you want to honour their encouragement, their perseverance. Their energy fortifies you, and you in turn will fortify them in their time of need. That's the main lesson of black belt camp. You get three days worth of love, encouragement, strength, friendship and fellowship. That kind of positive energy is worth any amount of sore muscles and body aches. It's what keeps me going back year after year.

This camp will be a special time for me, because I have been away from my friends and fellow black belts for about a year now. I will be seeing them all again and I will be catching up with the changes in my extended family. I just can't wait!

All Time Best

07:30 - Woke up today. Took a shower and made myself a cup of tea. Today is garbage day, so I put out a couple bags of trash and the recycling bins out on the curb. I just recently moved, so my basement is filled with cardboard boxes that need to be cut down before submitting for the recycling man. I resolve to work on that for next weeks pick-up.

08:00 - Headed to work. Picked up a couple of bagels from the donut store before heading into the office.

08:15 - Turned on computer. Opened email. I have a bit of a panic because a client is requesting a copy of a report ASAP. I spend the morning creating copies and prepping them for shipment.

12:00 - Head home for lunch. Watch part of a Firefly episode while munching down on a tuna fish sandwich.

13:30 - Back to work. Spend the afternoon reviewing a report on landfill design. I highly recommend landfill design reports as a cure for insomnia.

17:00 - Head home. I originally planned to do some work on the blog, writing about the history of Tang Soo Do, just to give my readers a little background and supporting context for this blog. Instead I think of a better idea for a blog post, and put the "history" post aside for another day.

So here is the topic of today's post.

ALL TIME BEST LIST: Martial Arts Movies

1. All Time Best: Chopsocky Flick

For the purposes of this post, the term "chopsocky" is a description of a certain genre of martial arts movies that most of us were introduced to as kids.

These were the low budget, poorly shot, poorly dubbed, but somehow endearlingly wonderful films from the 60's and 70's that we may have first seen on Saturday Afternoon Movie Matinee's on cable TV. Most of these flicks were produced by the Shaw Brother's studios, who churned out these B-level movies at a rate that challenged Roger Corman's productions. Martial Arts superstars like Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris, first cut their teeth in these productions. (As a weird personal note, I recently found out that Master Vaughn, my head instructor, once was a runner at the Shaw Brother's studios, and he would sometimes be asked to be an extra if the storyline required the Asian hero to beat up on a bunch of hairy, white guys.)

For chopsocky afficionado's, I think there is general agreement that the Five Deadly Venom's, represents the best of that genre. They re-relesed this film on DVD just a few years back. I rented the re-released version and was not dissapointed. Yes, it's still poorly shot. On some scenes you miss half the picture because the aspect ratio is off, so sometimes you see only half the fight scenes. And the dubbing is still bad. You ever notice that the voice actors who dubbed the early chopsocky movies all seem to have the same weird accent? I found out recently that producer's, who were ever looking to save a buck, hired voice actors from New Zealand because they were cheaper than North American voice actors. That's why all my early martial art's heros all sounded like Kiwi's. So you get a really interesting line reading. For example the line:

"For someone who's a Shaolin monk, your kung fu is pretty lousy!"

sounds like:

"Fur samwan 'oos a Show-Lin munk, yer gung foo's preddy lau-zee!"

Absolutely bloody charming!

The Five Deadly Venom's doesn't have much of a storyline, more like a gimmick. The "venoms" are five martial artists who each learned a specific style from one master. Each warrior is named after each style, which is named after a particular animal. So you have the Snake (who fights with fists cocked like snake heads), Centipede (super-fast punches), Scorpion (acrobatic kicking style), Lizard (he can stick to walls) and everybody's favorite, the Toad (super strong, invunerable skin).

What elevates this film from the typical chopsocky flick for me is the scene where the Toad buys the farm. A bunch of bad guys try to lock Toad in an Iron Maiden, but because of his super strength and invunerability, he breaks out of the trap. He tries to fight and almost escapes until the "Really Bad Guy" throws a metal dart in his ear, causing so much pain that the Toad can't focus his power. The minions push him back into the Iron Maiden where he screams in unseen agony. Those screams haunted me as a kid. What a powerful scene!

2. All Time Best Fight Scene: Dude vs. Dude

This is a tough one, because you have so many great contenders.

Old school movie afficionados may mention Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris in Return of the Dragon. Legend has it that unlike most fight scenes, Bruce and Chuck didn't pull their punches. They were two warriors at the peak of thier abilities, and they really went at each other.

New Scool movie buffs may mention Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburn in the first Matrix movie. In my opinion it's the All Time Best, and most beautifully shot. Each frame is a fully composed work of art.

But more than that, the scene is just a perfect balance between physical coreography (ofthe actors, the camera, the stunt team and the set itself) and the narrative dealing with the philosphical awakaning of the main character. It's a fight scene with a purpose, and you don't see that kinda thing every day. My favorite element of that scene is how each actors fighting style reflects his character. Neo's moves are pensive at first, but there's that one shot where he smiles at Morpheus, just like a typical rookie martial artist, and shows pure joy that he can actually perform martial arts. Morpheus on the other hand is every bit a master instructor. He's all about patience and calm, luring his opponent into his strike zone, while pushing his student to the limits of his abilities. God, and when he does the "Ali Shuffle", I just about break out in goosebumps! Just a master piece!

2. All Time Best Fight Scene - Hey, Laaaadies!

Hands down, Michelle Yeoh and Zang Ziyi in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

I mean there's just no question. In fact it should probably go down as best fight scene of all time.

The first fight scene, the one as they fly across the rooftops, was just an appetizer. The main course is the scene near the end of the movie, the one where they battle inside the Training Temple. Ms. Zang (as Jen Yu) is armed with the Green Sword of Destiny. Michelle Yeoh, (as Shu Lien) is armed at different times with, machete's, a spear, hook swords, a heavy maul and a long sword. It takes years to master just one of these weapons, but Yeoh handles each one expertly. It's an amazing scene, beautifully shot, each shot composed like a masterpiece! Again, each fighting style is driven by character. Shu Lien's anger at Jen's after her "little sister" spurs her generosity shows in her first attacks. Just the look at Jen's face, the shock when she realizes her mentor is not just probing out her opponent with a few parries, but actually going all out, ready bash a sword upside the arrogant youth's head, well that look is just priceless and the acting flawless. (Well not quite flawless. A Chinese friend of mine once told me that Michelle Yeoh's [Madarin/Cantonese?] accent was so laboured that he found it quite comedic.)

4. All Time Best Jacky Chan movie.

I think Jacky Chan deserves his own genere of film. Although his movies have martial arts elements in them, the real dazzle of his films are in the stunt work. It's really stunt action movie slash comedy movie in the vein of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, more than a martial arts movie. Over the years, he's ammased quite a vast list of titles, but I think his best is Legend of the Drunken Master (aka Drunken Master II). Not only is his stuntwork extra ordinary, the coreography outstanding, and the storyline pretty good for his type of film, he's put together a really good troupe of supporting actors, most notably Anita Mui as "Stepmother". Ms. Mui really made this film for me. She's quite the comedic presence, think of an Asian Lucille Ball, but... you know... funnier! Great flick!

5. All Time Best Bruce Lee Film

Funny enough the best Bruce Lee flick in my opinion is one he actually never got to finish. Bruce died before completing his last labour of love, the Game of Death. After he passed on, some producers found his partially finished movie and recut it into the more well known (and infinitely suckier) "Game of Death" in an effort to market the film off of his legendary popularity at the time of his death. But the real Game of Death, the one Bruce intended to film, had a storyline that was different that the mess that was produced later on. Years later, the Bruce Lee estate presented previously unknown footage of Bruce's last movie, which was cut as he intended, and presented in a pretty fascinating documentary called Bruce Lee: A Warrior's Journey. I invite you all to check out that documentary and see the master's original vision.

The orignial story is about a warrior who battles though five levels of a temple, each level representing a specific martial arts (karate, judo, Philipno stick fighting etc.). At each level, the warrior must adapt and overcome his opponent, in essence each level represents a new awakaing. On the last level, the warrior must fight an unknown enemy (played by Kareem Abdul Jabbar, in a wild bit of casting) who has mastered an unknown style (represented by Jeet Kun Do, Bruce's own martial arts philosophy). The film is essentially a philosophical primer on the path each martial artist must take, a path that eventually leads to the warrior facing the ultimate unknown opponent. I guess the popular opinion would list Enter the Dragon as Bruce's best film, but in my opinion the original Game of Death is his ultimate masterpiece, and it's quite fitting that it remains unfinished.

6. All Time Best Samauri Movie.

Akira Kurosawa's the Seven Samurai. Not even a contest. Just watch for yourself, you'll see.

and finally...

7. All Time Best Martial Arts Book that doesn't know it's about Martial Arts.

Stephen King's The Dark Tower series.

These books are filled with an Eastern flavoured/martial arts philosophy almost without even realizing it. The character of Roland Deschain, the last Gunslinger, is the ultimate manifestation of epic hero's like Zatoicihi, Jubei Kibagami, Wong Fei Hung, Chen Zhen and Li Mu Bai. It's sometimes difficult to notice, since the character is more influenced by cowboy cinema, and even directly influenced by Clint Eastwood's Man with No Name. Ever notice the similarities between cowboy movies and martial arts movies? (See the preceding link on the Japanese orgins of "The Man With No Name".) Compare the standoff between Jet Li and Billy Chau in Fists of Legend to any one of the standard standoff scenes between gunslingers in any cowboy movie. See the smilarities?

Both genere's deal with the hero's who are outlaws and ronin, the lone knight-errants in each countries idealized history. For Asia, they are represented by swordsmen and Shaolin Monks. In North America they are cowboys. Even the subject manner, redemption, runs through both genre's. I think these smiliarities are a comment on our universality as human beings.

There are certain martial arts/Asian elements that one can find in the Gunslinger books. For example, the concept of existance represented by many different yet linked worlds. The concept of ka as destiny, and kehf as life force is very similar to the concept of ki energy in healing arts such as Tai Chi Chuan and Ki Gong. The main concept of the Gunslinger training is to master the intuitive senses, as evidenced by the Gunsliger's Litany:

I do not aim with my hand;
he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I aim with my eye.

I do not shoot with my hand;
he who shoots with my hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I shoot with my mind.

I do not kill with my gun;
he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father.
I kill with my heart.

How many times to we see Roland acting unerringly on instict to save the members of his ka-tet? Martial Arts training helps to develop the intuitive senses as well (although our codes and tenets are not quite so bloodthirsty). There are other subtle references to martial arts as well. The storyline to the seventh book in the series, The Wolves of the Calla, is very similar to the classic western The Magnificent Seven, which in turn is based on Kurosawa's the Seven Samauri.

There's more to discuss in my list of All Time Best, but I think I'll save further discussion for another time. I'm actually making myself tired.

Cheers,
AKW

The Martial Arts Blues

(Author’s Note: This poem is based on an Asian folk tale that was told to me when I first started Tang Soo Do. It is also based on the Blues song Dead Letter, by Son House. It is my intention, with this offering, I do honor to both. AKW 11/Mar/2006)

A young warrior walked up to an old master an’ this is what he said,
“Better duel with me old man, or my sword will cut you down dead!”
A young warrior stepped to the master, an’ listen to what he said,
“You better face me in a duel, or I will hunt you ‘til you’re dead.”

The master looked at the warrior an’ saw nothing but the truth.
He saw the search for fame and glory in the eyes of that heartless youth. The old man looked and the warrior, and saw nothing but the truth.
He saw the story of his death in the eyes of that heartless youth.


The master said: “Listen here young man, I’ve lived a long, hard life.
I’ve seen to many people die. Don’t want no fuss or strife.”
He said: “Go a way young man. I’ve lived too long and hard a life.
I was just like you once. Don’t want no more fuss or strife.”

The warrior laughed at the master and turned a deaf ear.
Despite all the wise words, the warrior just wouldn’t hear.
The warrior laughed at the old man and then turned a deaf ear.
No matter how much the old man pleaded, the youngster just wouldn’t hear.

So they faced off under the shadow of an old oak tree.
The master saw that it was just as thick and old as he.
The two men faced each other, under the shadow of an old oak tree.
The old man saw that the lumber was just as gnarled and hoary as he.

The master said: “Before we do battle I need to practice a little first.
The warrior pointed to the tree and said: “Old man, do your worst!”
“Oh my stiff and aching joints, I need to loosen ‘em up first.”
The warrior pointed to the tree and said: “Old campaigner, do your worst.”

The old man bowed to the oak tree, from crown to root,
and then attacked the lumber, using only hand and foot.
The master bowed to oak tree, giving honor to crown and root.
And when he attacked that ol’ oak tree, my God, how the ground did shook!

When the old man kicked at the lumber, he uttered a laugh,
‘cause that poor oak tree just splintered right in half.
The master kicked at the lumber, and gave a big belly laugh,
Wouldn’t you know it that ol’ oak tree, just up and splintered in half.

Now that he was ready to do battle, the master turned around,
but discovered that the warrior was nowhere to be found.
The old man was ready for the duel, oh, but when he turned around,
He wasn’t surprised to discover that the young man had given up his ground.

The morale of this little tale is (they don’t teach this in no school):
You don’t get to be an old master by being no fool!
The morale of this little story, is one of life’s funny little rules:
You don’t get to be a Tang Soo Do master, oh, by being no fool!

Regaining the path.

It's funny how easy it is to procrastinate on the weekends.

Yesterday, my plan was to go drive and hour to visit with my mom for Mother's Day, and then visit with my sister and her kids (she just got engaged and wanted to show off her new ring), and then jump back in the car, drive an hour, hit the YMCA for a good ol' fashioned Tang Soo Do workout, and then go home feeling tired, but satisfied. Only it didn't quite work out that way.

I did make it to my mother's. I gave her a card and her gift. We chatted a while about the new house my wife, Teresa and I just bought. Then I visited with my younger brother (who's 31 and still lives at home. Hubba, hubba ladies, get him while he's hot). He and I bickered for a bit. I have a bad habit of raiding his room and "borrowing" movies from his vast DVD collection. My brother works in retail, and he gets a discount on DVD's, CD's and the like. So, like he has tons right! So every time I visit he gets real pissy because I borrow them and then don't return them for a month. I don't really blame him, though. I guess I would feel just as pissy if he borrowed my DVD's and never returned them. But, he's my little brother, and I gotta keep the pecking order in place, so I take his movies anyways.

I gotta nice haul this time: Ocean's Twelve, Princess Mononoke, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and the last to movies in the Matrix Trilogy. Of all those movies I think Princess Mononoke would count as the best, followed by Ocean's (which for some ungodly reason got panned on its release). Jay and Silent Bob is a personal favorite and close third. I was most disappointed by Hitchhiker's, sorry to say. As a long-time fan of the book, the radio shows and the original TV series (i.e., I'm a supernerd, can you tell?), I was really looking forward to this movie adaption. But the damn storyline just fell apart for me. There was stuff there that didn't need to be there. I mean what the hell was Malkovich doing in that movie? It wasn't even a decent cameo. Still, I do give points for the singing dolphins and Martin Freeman, Mos Def and (my sexy lady) Zooey Deschanel did the best with a faulty script. And as always, Sam Rockwell was the bomb.

Anyhoo, said goodbye to the Mom's and went over to my sister's. Got to visit with my nephew (age 6) and niece (age 2). My nephew and I played Spiderman on his Gameboy. He still had his PJ's on, and he's really skinny so whenever he walks his pants fall down to reveal a wee, little plumber's smile. I told him that his butt must be broken cause I could see it had been cracked. He didn't think that that was so funny, so he hit me in the chest with a Koosh ball. We played Koosh tag for a while. I wanted to tag one off his head, but that little kid's pretty fast, and my aim was never that good. My niece was sleepy at first, my sister wanted to put her down for a nap. But we raised such a commotion, that my niece was running around after me and her brother. Just when I riled them up to the peak of insanity, I kissed my sister goodbye and went home.

Two for two... heh...heh...heh...

Now here's where my plan fell apart. I was supposed to go to the Y to work out. I had all intentions to be good, work up a good sweat and finally take time to practice my techniques. It has been a year since I left my original studio (or as we say in TSD, dojang) in Pennsylvania, so practice times have been few and far between.

A lot of my time since then has been spent getting my life back together here in Canada. Been searching for a job, and then shopping for a home, commuting an hour back and forth to work, searching for a space to work out had to be put on the back burner for a while, not to mention starting my own studio. This weekend was the first weekend that I had actual time to work out.

But I wiffed it.

Stayed at home.

Nursed a low grade headache and watched Ocean's Twelve.

So last night I went to bed feeling guilty.

And woke up this morning feeling guilty.

Lunch, still guilty.

"Why did I procrastinate?" I asked myself. "Why did I whimp out."

Because you're scared. Myself answered back.

"Scared of what?" I asked again.

Scared of being a f*cking fraud!

As ususal, "Myself" that deep dark inner me that contains my conscience was right. I was terrified.

I started taking martial arts back in 1998. I was twenty five when I first stepped inside that Tang Soo Do studio. Before that I had never taken part in any sports at all. I was always the skinny kid in school, somewhat unpopular, never really that interested in sports. It seems no matter how old I get, there's still that scared, skinny kid inside my head.

There were three major events that helped me shed all that fear. The first was going away for university. I was able to leave highschool and all that emotional baggage behind and start new. The second event was meeting Teresa. I met her in my third year, her second. My first thought when I first met her was: "Forget it dude, she's waaay out of your league." A year later, we were practically living together.

The third event was studying Tang Soo Do. For seven straight years I poured blood, sweat and tears on that studio floor.

And with the help and guidance of some very special folks like my head instructor Master Vaughn, my senior instructors Mister White, Mister Altiere, Mr. Lipstein and Doc Rosenkrans,



I was able to achieve a milestone! I was granted my black belt!

Along the way I was able to give back to the studio as a mentor to the kids. I was able to pass along a lot of the lessons I learned as a child to these kids, which their parents appreciated. I became a leader. I became a better husband, and I learned some skills that will one day make me a good father.

And then I moved back to Canada. It's been almost a year since my last official class.

I was afraid that having taken a break from training for so long, I had lost a lot of what the art has given me. I was afraid that I was dishonoring the art. I was afraid, just like I always was as a kid.

So what did I do?

This evening I packed my uniform (or do bohk), and headed out the the Y. I practiced my forms for an hour. It was a little bit less than the two hour classes I'm used to, but it's a start. It's a new beginning. I am on a new journey.

I just am glad to be able to get back on the path.

Welcome to "True North: Strong and Free"

Hey there, Folks!

My name is Ali, and I would like to welcome you all to my blog. The main purpose is to discuss the trials and tribulations of opening a martial arts studio. I am a second degree black belt in a martial art called Tang Soo Do. Think of it as a more formal version of Tae Kwon Do. I am also an instructor, certified by the World Tang Soo Do Association, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The WTSDA is a great organization with over 500 member studios and over 100,000 members in 36 countries. I hope to be member studio number "501".

This blog will also discuss a variety of other topics as well, including but not limited to movies, comics, climate change, the warped mind of the married man, hand-knitted socks... whatever comes to mind the day I post. I hope to be as funny, brave and candid as Kevin Smith over at his blog. I guess we shall see...

But for now, welcome and enjoy.

Cheers,

Ali