Crunching the Cookies: Self-Defense Pt. II

From the Dictionary of Self-Defense Techniques:

"crunching cookies" - verb: meaning to strike the groin with a short, powerful smack with the back of the hand (see synonym "making crumbs");

"Hand of Glory" - noun: description of a not-so short, even more powerful strike to the groin with the palm of the hand in a motion similar to one would use when playing skee-ball or 5-pin bowling;

What does it fee like getting backhanded in the groin?

Funny enough, not as bad as you would think, at least in this case. Oh, don't get me wrong, it ain't as fun as discovering cherries are on sale for $1.99 per pound at the local supermarket, but... Master Robinson pulled back on the force of the strike and I was able to mentally prepare because I was expecting it.

What I wasn't expecting though was the following maneuvers. Master Robinson tourqed my wrist 180 degrees, so my pinky finger is pointing to the sky. He follows up by a very judicious knife-hand to the nerve cluster at the base of my right tricep. Ever hit the funny bone on your elbow? That's what it feels like, except Master Robinson is grinding on that cluster. He's like Lionel Hampton playing "Flying Home" on that one particular pressure point. At the same time he's trying very hard to bend my wrist and elbow in a very unnatural direction.

The sensation is quite arresting.

This is what we mean by "self-defense".

To be continued...

Crunching the Cookies: Self-Defense Part I

According to the Tang Soo Do Manual black belt as represents mastery, calmness, dignity and sincerity.

What the manual does not tell you is that quite often, black belts are also known for doing really crazy things. For example, last year, I volunteered to take a shot in the groin in front of a group of people.

Okay, picture this: I am standing in a field somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania. I have both my hands wrapped tightly in the lapels of this bald, white dude, in a manner to suggest I am trying to bully him out of his lunch money. About 20 people are staring at use, quite avidly waiting to see what's going to happen next.

The "bald, white dude" in question is actually Master Kevin Robinson. Let me assure you, the only reason I am "draping" the man in such a rough manner is because he requested it. He's demonstrating self-defense techniques to a class of black belts and black belt candidates. You simply don't do something like this to Master Robinson (or anyone else, really) without his express permission. It is has been reported that a friend once tried to surprise him from behind one evening as he was walking his dog in a dark park. It turns out it was the friend who got the ultimate surprise. After the ambulance came, Master Robinson (who has specialized in the field of self-defense long enough to develop his own system, called S.M.A.R.T.) apologized to his friend and gently warned that sneaking up him wasn't the best idea in the world.

(I'm going to apologize to Master Robinson in advance of the rest of this blog. I read the above paragraph and knowing what I want to type below, in the interest of comedic value I'm probably going to do him a disservice and make him look much crazier and scarier than he really is. So I'll take time now to invite you all to start getting to know the real Master Robinson by getting his book "S.M.A.R.T. Self Defense: A common-sense guide to keeping yourself and your family safe in today's world." Those of you in the Tunkhannock area can look up his studio, Robinson's Martial Arts Institute.)

Okay, caveat aside, I volunteered to be the "attacker" for demonstration purposes. Master Robinson has 30 years experience as a martial artists, training in many arts including boxing, ju-jitsu and hapkido. Thus as a volunteer I feel he has developed exquisite control, and I can trust him not to inadvertently injure me in a class context. On the other hand, Master Robinson is very passionate about his instruction, and does believe that there should be a certain degree of realism when it comes to self-defense training. There's really no way of understanding the subtleties of these techniques without experiencing what it's like to have them slapped on you by a master. Thus, there is no way I can expect to escape from this scenario unscathed.

"When a person grabs you like this, what are they?" Master Robinson asks the class.

A murmur runs through the crowd.

"They're an idiot, obviously!" Master Robinson exclaims. "Only an idiot would tie up their own hands while leaving both your arms and both your legs free."

A nervous titter runs through the crowd. They know what's coming.

At this point I sort of tighten my grip on Master Robinson. It's just a tight little clench, but it's unexpected. So for just an instant, his eyes take on a very serious, very calculating glaze.

...oh crap...

"Sorry, sir." I say.

"No, no," He says. "That was good. My mind just went to a dark place for just a second."

Scares me right out of my tree.

Another caveat: One of the reasons why Master Robinson is so well-respected as a self-defense instructor is because he is very dedicated to finding the most effective techniques. This dedication has lead him to train, and train with, law enforcement officers, prison guards, military personnel, etc. These of course are people who take self-defense very seriously, so I could imagine what sort of "dark places" him mind went to.

So here I am. Standing in front of a gaggle of my peers, my hands wrapped at the throat of one of the most serious and dedicated martial artists in the association.

Tune in later, and I maybe I'll tell you what Master Robinson means by the term "crunching the cookies".

When Life Happens

This blog is hard to begin...

I originally meant to present a 2006 Black Belt camp wrap-up here, complete with highlights and praises for the master instructors who taught us all so much. But, life took a really strange and sad turn this past weekend. A good friend of mine suffered a loss on Sunday. In the interest of privacy, I will name my friend "P".

"P" is a fellow black belt and a very funny, generous, gregarious, outgoing person. I share a special bond with "P" because we received our black belts (or dan belts) at the same time, along with another friend whom I will call "R". Because "P", myself and "R" were promoted at the same time, we spent a lot of time training with each other. Every class, we assemble according to rank and dan number, I stood smack in the middle of both of them. We would often spur each other on during our training. We often joked together when the training was good, and when the training got really tough and I found myself at the end of my endurance, both "P" and "R" would cheer me on. They would give me enough energy to stay on my feet and finish in fine form. Such was the character of my friend "P".

We three had a lot of fun this weekend at Black Belt Camp. I hadn't seen my friends in almost a year, and it was a goodness to be with them and to feel their energy as I trained. It was like the old days. So it was quite a shock to go home all tired but exhilarated from a weekend of fun and fellowship and hear that "P" had a lost a dear family member. And it was quite painful to see my good friend, one of the happiest people I have ever met, so overcome with grief and loss. But as painful as this past weekend was, I was able to see my Tang Soo Do family come together in support of a dear friend. This weekend, I saw adults rally on a moments notice, without question to give our friend unconditional love. I saw Tang Soo Do children face grief and loss with a sense of compassion and maturity that belied their ages. I saw what makes Tang Soo Do so special that I want to start a club here in Ontario.

What I just wrote will never do justice to what I felt this past weekend. It's too big and too personal and too sad and too beautiful to describe. But the experience will always be remembered and honoured within.

Today, I send out all my love and energy to my friend "P". And I remain ever thankful that I am a member of the World Tang Soo Do Association.