What the manual does not tell you is that quite often, black belts are also known for doing really crazy things. For example, last year, I volunteered to take a shot in the groin in front of a group of people.
Okay, picture this: I am standing in a field somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania. I have both my hands wrapped tightly in the lapels of this bald, white dude, in a manner to suggest I am trying to bully him out of his lunch money. About 20 people are staring at use, quite avidly waiting to see what's going to happen next.
The "bald, white dude" in question is actually Master Kevin Robinson. Let me assure you, the only reason I am "draping" the man in such a rough manner is because he requested it. He's demonstrating self-defense techniques to a class of black belts and black belt candidates. You simply don't do something like this to Master Robinson (or anyone else, really) without his express permission. It is has been reported that a friend once tried to surprise him from behind one evening as he was walking his dog in a dark park. It turns out it was the friend who got the ultimate surprise. After the ambulance came, Master Robinson (who has specialized in the field of self-defense long enough to develop his own system, called S.M.A.R.T.) apologized to his friend and gently warned that sneaking up him wasn't the best idea in the world.
(I'm going to apologize to Master Robinson in advance of the rest of this blog. I read the above paragraph and knowing what I want to type below, in the interest of comedic value I'm probably going to do him a disservice and make him look much crazier and scarier than he really is. So I'll take time now to invite you all to start getting to know the real Master Robinson by getting his book "S.M.A.R.T. Self Defense: A common-sense guide to keeping yourself and your family safe in today's world." Those of you in the Tunkhannock area can look up his studio, Robinson's Martial Arts Institute.)
Okay, caveat aside, I volunteered to be the "attacker" for demonstration purposes. Master Robinson has 30 years experience as a martial artists, training in many arts including boxing, ju-jitsu and hapkido. Thus as a volunteer I feel he has developed exquisite control, and I can trust him not to inadvertently injure me in a class context. On the other hand, Master Robinson is very passionate about his instruction, and does believe that there should be a certain degree of realism when it comes to self-defense training. There's really no way of understanding the subtleties of these techniques without experiencing what it's like to have them slapped on you by a master. Thus, there is no way I can expect to escape from this scenario unscathed.
"When a person grabs you like this, what are they?" Master Robinson asks the class.
A murmur runs through the crowd.
"They're an idiot, obviously!" Master Robinson exclaims. "Only an idiot would tie up their own hands while leaving both your arms and both your legs free."
A nervous titter runs through the crowd. They know what's coming.
At this point I sort of tighten my grip on Master Robinson. It's just a tight little clench, but it's unexpected. So for just an instant, his eyes take on a very serious, very calculating glaze.
...oh crap...
"Sorry, sir." I say.
"No, no," He says. "That was good. My mind just went to a dark place for just a second."
Scares me right out of my tree.
Another caveat: One of the reasons why Master Robinson is so well-respected as a self-defense instructor is because he is very dedicated to finding the most effective techniques. This dedication has lead him to train, and train with, law enforcement officers, prison guards, military personnel, etc. These of course are people who take self-defense very seriously, so I could imagine what sort of "dark places" him mind went to.
So here I am. Standing in front of a gaggle of my peers, my hands wrapped at the throat of one of the most serious and dedicated martial artists in the association.
Tune in later, and I maybe I'll tell you what Master Robinson means by the term "crunching the cookies".
2 comments:
Umm, sorry Teresa?
:)
Oh, been there done that with Master Robinson! I've had the honor of being lit up by him as well in a demonstration, and I can admit that your heart kinda skips a beat when you know he's going to start. You know it's not going to end well for you, you're just not sure how badly it's going to end! :)
In all seriousness though, his control is amazing and the fact that I completely trust his judgement and motivations probably keeps me from getting even more injured in the process.
Don't ever let him grab your lip though. That's just nasty.
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